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Erotic fiction has regained a place in the world since the Fifty Shades of Grey series and related books took the world by storm (or not, depending on your allegiance). But BDSM sex chambers and millionaires played by Jamie Dornan aside, there is an art to writing about sex and sexual acts in fiction.

I was recently asked if it took me a long time to write the three scenes that feature in The Berylford Scandals: Lust & Liberty. In truth, it took me longer to decide whether they were necessary in the first place. Could I pull off a half-decent romantic mystery novel without giving a graphic illustration of my anti-heroine Lady Vyrrington’s sexual encounters? Ultimately, I decided that, yes, they would be. The writing of the scenes themselves only took a day each, or so.

The best way, in my opinion, to learn how to write a sex scene suitable to the style and tone you’re going for in your own work, is to read how it’s done in books of similar genre. This gives the best idea of how to work the language to sound good and illustrate what is happening without putting off the more prudish reader.

Ken Follett, author of Pillars of the Earth and A Dangerous Fortune (among others) is my key influence in this regard. Sex scenes are a common occurrence in his novels, and in many instances, he doesn’t beat about the bush.

Then there’s Angela Carter, who wrote The Bloody Chamber, an anthology of short stories, one of which is entitled The Snow Child, which ends with a Count having sex with the corpse of a girl his wife has just murdered. The words “thrust his virile member” carry a certain memorable quality and poetic gravitas, yet retain their graphic nature.

I would recommend against using EL James as an influence for sex scene writing, not least because it’s lazy but also her literary skill has divided opinions. And having read the first Fifty Shades book, I don’t hold her skills as a writer in high regard. However, her scenes may serve as a starting point on which you can build and improve.

Only use sexual slang if you are describing the scene in dialogue. Obviously, if it’s a first-person narrator, the rules are slightly more flexible. But otherwise, “thrust his virile member“, regardless of the genre and style of your writing, is going to appeal to the reader more than “shoved his cock in“. Unless, of course, you are deliberately satirising, in which case there are different rules altogether.

If you have any further questions on writing sex scenes in fiction, please leave them in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer them.

Ever since publishing my debut novel earlier this year, (The Berylford Scandals: Lust & Liberty if you weren’t aware by now, having sold 62 copies including two overseas), I have been told again and again that I ought to produce an audiobook version next. I was immediately dismissive of the idea. For one thing, I couldn’t pay someone to read my work for me. The general response has been, “Just read it yourself!”

That struck me as very vain and self-serving at the time. I mean, I would love to do an audiobook, reading from someone else’s work, perhaps! I have the background and training in radio and broadcasting to carry it off, plus anyone who knows me will agree that no one else sounds quite like I do (and thank God for it!)

Then as I came to think about it more and more, I figured that if anyone knows how each character should sound in each particular scene or scenario, it will be the person who created all that in the first place. But again, the vanity pulled me back.

But then I read that the legend himself that was Roald Dahl released an audiobook version of Fantastic Mr. Fox (coincidentally the first full book I remember reading on my own), as well as a number of his other works. If it’s good enough for Roald Dahl, then I certainly have no problem with it.

So yes, I’m hereby announcing I will be recording and producing an audiobook version of Lust & Liberty. At least we can rely on there being no typos involved.