How do you turn your first drafts into passable prose? Watching out for writing rules that, no matter how hard you protest, you really shouldn’t break if you can help it. And when you’re first starting out, you may not be able to help it at all…

I’m going to come out and say it from the off: your first book will probably not be very good. That is, the first ever story you put fingers to keyboard over. Because, for the most part, this is untamed, uncured material, in which you’ve probably broken a load of laws and rules of the art. And that is totally fine; it’s part of the process. I have defied a number of writing rules myself; sometimes knowingly, other times, not so much. Indeed, even now, there are a fair few things I’d like to change about the work that I’ve since published.

I have always clashed with people who are quick to tear a first draft to shreds, as if it’s meant to be perfect first time around. The maxim I follow for the first draft process is: write with your heart, not your head. Get the story down on the page, and sort it out properly in the re-drafting process. I’ve often found those who don’t do it this way often kill their stories off before they’ve given it a proper chance.

All the same, it never hurts to alert you to some of the common, important writing rules that you may break even without meaning to. I have pinpointed five for the purposes of this article:

FACT DUMPING

Exposition is one of the chief elements of narrative. To give readers information necessary to understanding the characters and the story. However, especially in today’s literature, it ought to be given in moderation. Allow your readers to work more stuff out for themselves than just handing it to them on a platter (which we’ll discuss more further down). Massive blocks of backstory and description can put the modern reader off. There’s not much sense in delivering a lengthy chapter about the main character’s family history if there’s nothing really relevant in it. And if it is crucial to the story, think of another way to deliver the information. Spread it out across a number of smaller scenes, maybe via dialogue or action, for example.

USING ADVERBS

I have highlighted the use of adverbs on this blog before. There are occasions in which to use them is acceptable. If you’re describing the way a character has said something, but there is no specific verb of its own to illustrate it properly, then you have little choice. This is one of the writing rules I have tended to break continually (see — I just did it again). It is a crutch on which writers can lean on in the course of their drafting process. You can always find more interesting verbs or stronger ways to describe speech and action when it comes to editing.

SHOW, DON’T TELL

Prior to doing my Masters in Creative Writing, I used to think the Show, Don’t Tell rule was another one of those pretentious rules that reading addicts created and posted on the Internet to justify why they didn’t like something they read. It turns out this is actually the accepted approach in modern writing. Rather than tell your readers something or other about a character, make them do or say something in order for your readers to analyse it and come to the conclusion themselves. It creates new challenges for you as a writer, but also may open up new avenues in terms of narrative. Your story may go in a different direction to what you had planned.

CHANGING POINT-OF-VIEW / FOCALISER MID-SCENE

Another one I’m guilty of. And while I don’t justify it, I will say, when you read a lot of 18th and 19th century literature, as I do, there are a lot of scenes in which the character whose point-of-view you’re following changes. Sometimes for no significant reason. I’m currently reading Dostoyevsky’s Crime & Punishment, and I can tell you it happens quite often in that book. At times, it’s a minor, background character, whose perspective we view for a matter of sentences, for no especial reason. Because I was given to understand this as a bad habit, these days, I make sure I have designated a focaliser (or focalisers) for each chapter, and, when I make the switch, I make sure it’s as significant as a chapter break, so that the reader can follow it. Fans of the A Song of Ice and Fire books will know that George R.R. Martin takes it one step further and names the Point-of-View character for each chapter.

In short, try to follow one character’s perspective in a chapter. And if you must have more than one POV, make the switch make sense. When you come to read through your work, you’ll find you may have changed the focaliser without even realising. It’s something to watch out for.

OVERDESCRIBING AND OVEREXPOSING

This calls back to the first point about Fact Dumping. Many of my readers have commended me on my skills in descriptive writing. And it’s true, I do like a rich description for my characters and settings. But even I look back on The Berylford Scandals and recognise that I spent far too long in the opening chapters talking about how the Stirkwhistles looked and acted, instead of letting the narrative do that for me. So, in learning my lesson, for You Can Hear Chopin from the Attic, the characteristics and idiosyncrasies of the characters get revealed more gradually as the story goes on. Meanwhile, the initial descriptions are more to-the-point and (hopefully) don’t give too much away. I advise other writers to observe a similar approach. No one needs three adjectives per body part and item of clothing. If you must describe all this from the off, make sure it’s worth the reader’s effort. Otherwise you’re just going to bore them.

 WHAT OTHER WRITING RULES ARE OUT THERE?

Do you know any other rules or laws of writing that get broken, even by total accident? Let me know your pet peeves in the comments section.

Profile

FULL NAME: Abel Stirkwhistle

BORN: 1st October 1756, Iverleigh Warren, Kensington, London (aged 36-37 in Lust & Liberty; 58-59 in Sin & Secrecy)

EYE COLOUR: Hazel

HAIR COLOUR: Brown, later grey

FAMILY: The Hon. Tobias Stirkwhistle (father); Esther Stirkwhistle (mother); Rebecca (sister); Liza Stirkwhistle (née Rowlands) (wife); Josiah, Obadiah, Priscilla, Cecilia, Septimus, Octavius, Decimus, Lady Irwina Stirkwhistle-Ziegler (paternal cousins); Lady Oliviera Vyrrington, Lady Riva Bært-Styridge, Lady Lavinia Isaacs, Lady Clementina Isaacs, Lady Diana Isaacs, Lady Georgiana Isaacs (maternal cousins)

ALLIES: Priscilla Stirkwhistle, Lady Oliviera Vyrrington, George Whitlocke

ENEMIES: Rebecca Stirkwhistle, all children

OCCUPATION: Socialite, politician (formerly), school caretaker

PERSONALITY: Sadistic, mischievous, roguish, secretive, irritable, severe, violent

POLITICS: Liberal

FAITH: Catholic

Who is Abel Stirkwhistle?

Abel is the main anti-hero of The Berylford Scandals: Sin & Secrecy. He appears in the prequel, Lust & Liberty, though nowhere near as often and much later than I first wanted. In the final version of the novel, he doesn’t physically appear until halfway through the story. When we meet him, he is recovering from a stroke, cared for by his sister Rebecca and his wife Liza. Once he recovers, he quickly becomes established as both a bit of a wind-up merchant and a force to be reckoned with. Probably one of the only people his cousin Lady Vyrrington fears to some extent.

While he is only a major player in the first book towards its end, Abel is the main character of the second. He, like Lady Vyrrington, is nearing his sixties. He is tired with his life, marriage and job, in which he makes many an enemy. But the main thorn in his side is still his sister, as you’ll discover. In the opening chapter of the first book, I give quite a detailed description of his appearance and personality:

from Chapter I of The Berylford Scandals: Sin & Secrecy

“…Tall and dark as his Italian heritage permitted, he had once been handsome too in his youth. But a sudden stroke in his middle-age had stolen all that from him and warped his body into that formidable and fearsome mass of flesh which Berylford had come to know and dread. He was all but entirely sunken on the one side; he did not walk or even limp but ambled spikily as a crab would. His neck and head were permanently askew, his lips would often spasm, bearing fangs intermittently – whether they were merely expressions of pain and frustration, or curses to the God who had visited this affliction on him, no one could say.

Either way, it had done as badly for Abel’s mind and temper as it had his body. While politically he remained liberal, sympathetic and even at times generous to those of classes beneath those of his own aristocratic roots, he paradoxically had an unforgiving nature and was capable of great cruelty, regarding little the lives of lesser Earthly creatures. For example, if a simple snail were to be slithering along the pavement, it would be the feet of some children of the town to kick it about the pavement in its shell. However, it would be the cruel foot of Abel Stirkwhistle – the steel–studded boot with the iron heel brought down with such malevolence that would crush the snail in its shell. And a brutal and sadistic socialite was he, and he relished his cruelty grandly…”

Origins & Basis

Abel Stirkwhistle is probably one of the only characters whose name has stuck from day one. I don’t know what it is about the surname Stirkwhistle. It just suggested to me something nasty and malevolent that went with Abel’s character, along with that of his sister. And I always intended him to be a villain to some degree. He started out as the sadistic and cruel caretaker of the school where four of the other main characters, collectively known as The Four Scallywags, study. That part of his character remains.

He was not supposed to be related to Lady Vyrrington in the beginning; originally they were just friends. But I could not justify the lady of the manor being friends with a school caretaker unless they were actually related. With this in mind, Abel couldn’t have the job for the love of it. He had to take it on to keep an eye on his sister — that’s how it developed.

I personally love writing dialogue for Abel — his character is so multi-faceted. That’s whether he’s talking to Lady Vyrrington or his sister Rebecca. He can be roguish and charming one minute, austere and threatening the next. It gives me an opportunity to write both light-hearted and black humour, but also drama that shows off his straight-up violent and evil side. When he exchanges threats with Rebecca — I find that so unlike any other sibling relationship, both in real life and in fiction.

Literary Inspiration

Abel, like Lady Vyrrington, originated in his older form. He is a combination of two Dickens characters. Mr. Tulkinghorn from Bleak House for the personality, and Jeremiah Flintwinch from Little Dorrit for the appearance and movement. The surname Stirkwhistle is also deliberately Dickensian. I injected the mischievous side of him myself to give him a redeeming quality. Despite his malice, I wanted to make him somewhat likeable, or at least relatable.

What’s your opinion of Abel? Likeable anti-hero or straight-up villain? Let us know in the comments!